Once you pop...the fun stops.

Pussycat Dolls decided that now would be a good time to drop their new music video for "Bottle Pop." It's quite the let down, since the shots of the girls drinking soda are neither sexy nor are they getting paid for product placement. Soda cans are also not bottles -- I'm surprised they even got that far. And don't even get me started on their make-up. They look like Mike Tyson. Beautiful.

Also, the trailer clip for this video had shots of the girls climbing all up and down the balconies of the empty theatre this video takes place in. Where are those shots? I don't want to see PCD stand around gyrate. I want to see them trespass, damnit!

In terms of the song itself, it's not bad, at least relative to half the shit that's on flop-of-the-year Doll Domination. It's produced by Fernando Garibay, who did Britney Spears' two Circus bonus tracks, "Amnesia" and the Lady-Gaga-penned "Quicksand," both of which are some of the best pop songs of 2008. So "Bottle Pop" has some promise. Sadly, "Bottle Pop" is about as lifeless as inflatable Pussycat Doll (that's not entirely true, it's a good song to the gym too -- but only then!). The album version has Snoop Dogg on it, which is a little weird, since corporate labels usually like to have the rapper be on the single version in hopes of extorting money out of obsessive iTunes collectors who must have everything. Who is running Universal these days?

I still think the girls or whoever is managing / destroying their careers should release "Elevator" as a single. Unlike the other singles from Doll Domination, it has interesting production, commendable song-writing, and is much catchier than "Watcha Think About That" (Missy Elliott saves that song from certain death -- she makes a Katy Perry reference!).

But it probably won't be a single because one of the other Dolls sings vocals on it. OMG. What, do they think we're going to be confused? It's not like we didn't notice Melody, Kim, Jessica, and Ashley awkwardly dancing there. Either that, or Nicole Scherzinger is screwing their manager. Work that casting couch, girlfriend! Put those girls in their place.

On the bright side, when they tour with Britney Spears this year, everyone will like them again because Britney has the midas touch in pop music. If "Bottle Pop" was actually "Bottle Pop (featuring Britney Spears)" it would go to number one world-wide faster than you can avert your daughter's eyes from all the skankiness!