Grammy Wrap-Up 2009

RECORD OF THE YEAR:
Record of the year is an "award to the artist and to the producer(s), recording engineer(s) and/or mixer(s), if other than the artist," in case you're wondering. I was tempted to put my favor in support of "Paper Planes," since nobody made cash registers sound as cool as Diplo and Switch did, but on the other hand, I also see Record of the Year as sort of a consolation prize for artists who never had a chance at song of the year, like Leona Lewis. This boggles my mind, as my radio was held hostage by "Bleeding Love" several times in the past twelve months. Alison Krauss and Robert Plant managed to take this won home.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR:
Considering Coldplay's Viva La Vida is the only album from this category that I own, I cannot help but express my disappointment that it did not win.

SONG OF THE YEAR:
I think Coldplay rightly deserved this one for "Viva La Vida." That song is pretty epic, with all those drums and strings and talks of ruling the world. Fun fact: there's a breakfast place in Evanston, Illinois called Clarke's that serves Viva La Blueberry pancakes. They are quite delicious.

BEST NEW ARTIST:
Lady Gaga...not. I don't know how she managed to not get nominated, considering the Jonas Brothers have released three albums already (Grammy Awards have a long history of doing this...remember when they nominated Imogen Heap a couple years ago, even though she released her first album in the late 1990s?).
I really wanted Jazmine Sullivan to win, but I realized that Adele is pretty awesome, too. I would have been happy with either.

BEST POP COLLABORATION WITH VOCALS:
I never actually listened to the Robert Plant and Alison Krauss record, nor do I plan on it, but seriously, I want to give it to Alicia Keys on this one since she was totally snubbed from the Grammies this year. Usually she basically dominates the Grammies -- and with a song like "No One," she totally should have, even though the song nominated in this category was "Lesson Learned" with John Mayer (major tool).

BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM:
Duffy won, which, although not what I wanted, is totally okay. I think we should give her something. I mean, her voice is kinda nasally, and I actually think Adele has a more pleasant voice, but then I remembered I only have one Adele song on iTunes that was a free download, compared to the $2.97 I spent on various Duffy songs.

BEST DANCE RECORDING:
"Harder Better Faster Stronger" won. No, not Kanye West's "Stronger," this is the actually Daft Punk song. Can I just have a little WTF moment here? That song came out like eight years ago. This was just the live version winning a Grammy....why didn't they give this song the Grammy when it first came out instead of passing over people Lady Gaga or Sam Sparrow ("Black and Gold" is the shit, ya'll). These Grammy people need to be smacked in the face with a Disco stick.

BEST ELECTRONIC/DANCE ALBUM:
Daft Punk wins again for the album, "Alive 2007." It came out towards the end of '07, so it didn't qualify for last year's Grammies, but that doesn't change the fact that
Robyn did not take this one home.

BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE BY DUO OR GROUP:
Kings of Leon's "Sex on Fire" wins. Finally, things are going my way again. Is there a Grammy Award for Coolest Song Title of the Bunch, too?

BEST ROCK SONG:
This one went to "Girls in Their Summer Clothes" by Bruce Springsteen. I basically own every song in this category except the one that won, but you must always, always concede victory to the Boss. 'Tis the law.

BEST ROCK ALBUM:
I didn't get to vote on the Grammies this year because I don't get paid to kiss Chris Martin's ass for a living, but I believe Coldplay deserves this one.

BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM:
Radiohead wins, but honestly, I am getting really sick of them (their concert merchandise, on the other hand, is worth every penny). The only thing alternative about this album was how you could pay whatever you wanted for it. Beck, Death Cab, or Gnarls Barkley could have been better.

BEST FEMALE R&B VOCAL PERFORMANCE:
Alicia Keys won for "Superwoman," which would have been fine were superwoman not such a sucky song (does nobody remember "No One?"). My pick was Jazmine Sullivan, as "Need U Bad" is a little bit great.

BEST URBAN/ALTERNATIVE PERFORMANCE
This is such a random category. Anyway, Chrisette Michele (featuring the ubiquitous will.i.am) won for "Be Okay." I don't mind Christette Michele. Can't say a bad thing about her. But I was hoping deep down inside that Janelle Monae might snag a grammy. The crazy ones never win, though, do they.

BEST R&B ALBUM:
J-Hud is pretty awesome. I don't really have anything to say about this other than "Yaaaaaaay J-Hud." But I felt the need to include it in my coverage. Did you know that she's engaged to Punkie from I Love New York 2?

BEST RAP SOLO PERFORMANCE:
Lil Wayne wins for A Milli. I guess I take it back -- the crazy ones do win occasionally. But Lil Wayne is bad crazy, at least on this record (and on his new disaster, "Prom Queen"), as he sounded quite lucid during his Katie Couric interview the other day.

BEST RAP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR A GROUP:
Too bad M.I.A. didn't give birth on stage ("Swagga Like Us," by Jay-Z, T.I. Kanye, and Lil Wayne, which won this category, sampled one her rhymes from "Paper Planes"). That would have been amazing.

BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION:
My thoughts on Estelle winning? I was going to go for "Low," since that chorus is on my mind all the time. Then I realized that you can't really call anything T-Pain does "singing."

BEST RAP ALBUM:
Obviously it was gonna go to Lil Wayne, since he is the only rap album nominated for Album of the Year. But I thought T.I.'s Paper Trail put up a good fight.