Haha hehe haha ho

If you don't know by now, "If U Seek Amy," the third single off the certified-platinum album #6, Circus, basically spells out "F.U.C.K. Me." It's not everyday that Britney could get away with releasing a video like this. She sure is looking great these days -- remember when she was more like this? I think it's safe to say nobody wanted to Seek her back then.

She's been rehearsing enough for her tour now that the awkward, unflattering choreography designed to ease her back in to a life of gyrations and stripper poles is now a bit below her. Her team might have edited "Womanizer" to make it look more like she did more dancing than she was perhaps capable of, but I think she's ready for her next "Me Against the Music."

You really have to love the newscaster bit -- especially with the final line, "It doesn't make any sense, does it?" There's really nothing about this video that makes much sense. In what is essentially a strip-tease in reverse, Britney rolls out of bed after a night of assumed debauchery, prances around in a corset three sizes too small, and then magically turns into a a Stepford wife before going out to greet the paparazi. Is Amy the skanky Britney? Or is Amy the pie-baking Barbie doll? Does everybody want to see the goodie-two-shoes or are we all after the freak?

Damn. Who Britney was capable of such hardcore literary analysis?

The best part, though, is when Stepford Britney picks up the pie, smells it, winks, and dives right back into singing about how everybody wants to do her. You can't direct or edit that type of stuff in -- that's a pro at work. Makes sense, considering the video treatment was all her idea. Honestly, though, I think this video had the potential for some serious United-States-of-Tara action. Looking hot and dancing provocatively isn't particular groundbreaking.

(P.S. Those shoes set off the fierce alarm.)