Boom Boom No.

The Black Eyed Peas are back -- did you miss them? While I'm trying to figure out how to answer that question, I'm going to just go ahead and say that their new song "Boom Boom Pow" is a hot tranny mess.

If you haven't guessed by the title, will.i.am's hip hop vocabulary is slowly regressing into that of a toddler's. I'm sure their next song will be something like "Goo gaga" where he'll just moan and dream of slobbering all over his baby food jars. That's a little harsh, but seriously, this track and his lyrics are so half-assed that even Fergie-haters will be glad to hear Fergie pop up 45-seconds in and save the song with her "I'm so 3008 / you so 2000-and-late" lyric that is so laughable you can't help but enjoy it, kinda like her solo career. The song kinda spaces out a couple minutes into it's 4:13 running time, and while that sounds promising in theory, let me assure you, it is no Planet Rock.

Auto-tune shows up again. I think I've said enough about how I feel about autotune, but seriously, when the Black Eyed Peas start copying T-Pain, you better raise the terror alert of pop as high as it can go. Auto-tune makes Fergie sounds worse than she is! It's injustices like these that make it hard to remember their glory days. Songs like "Hey Mama," as dated as it sounds, was pretty out there (in a good way) for 2003.

Speaking of auto-tune, have you heard about Lil Wayne's rock album? It's batshit crazy like Joaquin Phoenix's attempt at a rap career. But I actually don't mind the auto-tune on this part, mainly because Lil Wayne is making a real rock album (with real drums!), and that deserves some redeeming brownie points, right? He doesn't really rap or sing, he kind of just talks aimlessly like he just finished his morning bowl of frosted flakes and cough syrup. It's a bit endearing, like feeding your dog peanut butter and watching it lick its face for ever.